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Margaret Chen raised three kids, burned garlic every single time, and slow-danced in the kitchen when she thought no one was watching. Her family made this book so her grandchildren would know who she was.

Title spread
✽ ✽ ✽

The Stories ofMargaret Chen

1941 – 2024
As told by her family
✽ ✽ ✽
For our children, and theirs —

so they know where the garlic smell
came from, and why Sunday
mornings still feel like home.

— The Chen Family, 2024
Chapter outline
Contents
  1. The House on Maple Court1
  2. How They Met14
  3. The Kitchen31
  4. What We Did on Sundays48
  5. The Immigration Story She Never Told62
  6. Raising Three Kids on One Salary79
  7. What She'd Want You to Know95
  8. The Last Year112
  9. What We Miss Most128
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Chapter opening
Chapter Three

The Kitchen

The first thing you need to understand about my mother's kitchen is that nothing in it matched. The cutting board was a slab of maple her father milled in 1962. The pot rack was a length of copper pipe my dad hung with picture wire the year they moved in, and it never hung straight, and she never let him fix it. The radio on top of the refrigerator had been tuned to KQED since before I was born. She didn't listen to it so much as let it keep her company.

She burned garlic every single time. Not because she didn't know better — she'd been cooking since she was nine, standing on a step stool in her grandmother's kitchen in Tainan, learning to fold dumplings with hands still too small to crimp the edges properly. She burned the garlic because she always got distracted at the exact wrong moment: wiping the counter, answering the phone, telling one of us to stop running in the house. The kitchen would fill with that sharp, almost-bitter smell, and she'd say the same thing every time — "Adds character" — and keep going.

34

Her signature dish was red-braised pork belly. She made it the way her grandmother made it — soy sauce, rock sugar, star anise, a thumb of ginger, and Shaoxing wine from the bottle she kept behind the flour where she thought we didn't know about it. The pork had to braise for three hours minimum. "You cannot rush pork belly," she'd say. "The pork knows if you're impatient." She said this with total seriousness. She believed it.

The thing about her kitchen is that it was never just a kitchen. It was where she checked your homework while the rice steamed. Where she told you she was disappointed in you, in a voice far worse than yelling. Where she slow-danced with my father to whatever was on the radio while she thought no one was watching. I watched every time. From the hallway, through the gap in the door — the two of them swaying next to the stove, her head against his chest, a dish towel still over her shoulder.

After she got sick, she stopped cooking for a while. We all pretended not to notice. Then one Sunday she came downstairs at six in the morning, tied on her apron — the blue one with the grease stain that had survived twenty years of washing — and made dumplings for fourteen people. Nobody had been invited. She just started calling. "Come eat," she said. "I made too many." She always made too many. That was the point.

35
Later chapter
Chapter Seven

What She'd Want You to Know

Mom was not a woman who gave speeches. She gave instructions. Quick, clear, usually while doing something else. But if you paid attention over forty-some years, the instructions added up to something. This is what she taught us, whether she meant to or not.

  • Don't marry someone who's mean to waiters. It tells you everything you need to know about a person in thirty seconds.
  • Call your mother on Sundays. Not because she needs it — because you do.
  • Learn to cook three things well. Not to impress anyone. So you always have a way to say "I love you" without having to say it.
  • Never go to bed angry. Go to bed exhausted if you have to, but not angry.
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  • If a child hands you a toy phone, you answer it. No exceptions.
  • Keep a clean kitchen. You don't have to keep a clean house — nobody cares about the living room — but keep a clean kitchen. That's where the real living happens.
  • Be the person who writes the thank-you note. Everyone thinks about it. Almost nobody does it. Be the one who does.
  • When someone tells you about their day, put your phone down. Not face-down on the table. In another room.
  • Don't cheap out on shoes, mattresses, or olive oil. Your feet, your back, and your food will thank you.
  • Say "I don't know" more often. It's a much more interesting sentence than most people think.
  • The best gift you can give your children is letting them see you be a complete person — not just a parent. Dance in the kitchen. Laugh too loud. Have opinions.
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200–300 pages
Hardcover
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